PATHETIC HUMANS CAN'T HANDLE FACEBOOK!

We interrupt this programme to bring you the text of an email from Fox News which has just arrived in my inbox, verbatim apart from the phone numbers, which I have redacted:

GREETINGS: BY WAY OF INTRODUCTION, MY NAME IS JACK SAVAGE—I AM A PRODUCER FOR THE FOX NEWS CHANNEL.

FOR A MORNING NEWS SEGMENT ON “FACEBOOK SUICIDE” COULD SOMEONE CALL ME BACK AT THE NUMBER BELOW?

JACK SAVAGE/ FOX NEWS NYC (xxx) xxx-xxxx (CELL PHONE (xxx) xxx-xxxx

WE WOULD LIKE TO DO A LIVE, ON-CAMERA INTERVIEW AROUND 1250 PM FRIDAY TOMORROW PM (5 MINUTE INTERVIEW) FROM OUR WESTMINSTER STUDIO IN LONDON.

IF NO ONE IS AVAILABLE TO APPEAR ON-CAMERA, IT’S POSSIBLE WE COULD DO A PHONE INTERVIEW, BUT WE WOULD PREFER ON-CAMERA.

IF ANYONE’S INTERESTED WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU A-S-A-P—-THANKS!

P.S. IF NEEDED, WE CAN PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION TO AND FROM THE INTERVIEW LOCATION IN WESTMINSTER.

SINCERLY,

JACK SAVAGE

FOX NEWS CHANNEL

I can’t think why, but I’m imagining Jack Savage as looking something like this chap on the left:


No?

UPDATE: I see that Fox News are now calling me a ‘Web addict’, for whom ‘Facebook suicide’ is the ‘only way out’.

Here is the text of the email I sent to Jack Savage in reply to his interview request:

Hi Jack, many thanks for the invitation, but I would feel wrong about appearing on a segment about ‘Facebook suicide’, as I think that term is really far too emotive for what amounts to simply deciding to stop visiting a particular website.

As I explained to the journalist who wrote the original London Times article, I rejoined Facebook not long after I initially left it, but she chose to leave this information out of the final piece.

Kind regards,

Fiona

For the more rational and much less sensational (but much more accurate) version of this story, see this post.


More posts you might like…

Word vs Google Docs for Copywriting

Google Docs vs Microsoft Word: which is the best word processor for copywriters?

As many organisations move from Microsoft Office to other office suites, professional copywriters are increasingly asked to use Google’s G Suite. But how do the word processors compare – and which one wins out for professional use?

Readability in B2B content: does your Flesch-Kincaid grade matter?

Readability can separate successful content from the mountain of unread marketing bumf. By asking your writers to put their copy through a Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level test, you can ensure your content is clear, concise and readable.

Make your writing more effective

Get copywriting tips and advice — direct to your inbox every month: